An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Saturday, 16 January 2016

#TANDCON16

It’s time to get excited about the biggest event in craft beer history, where the worlds beer communicators, evangelists, bloggers and writers congregate to hear the words of the very first blogger. That would be THE TAND and the event? #TANDCON16

THE TAND

Back when all this was fields, when computers were a hobby for those with soldering irons and digital watches were amazing, one man had a dream. That dream was that every man, woman and transgendered person would one day have their own beer blog. Though no one at the time knew even what a blog was. People would reply “Eh? A blog you say? What’s one of those?” On those blogs people could write about the bitter they were drinking, moan if it wasn’t through a sparkler and reveal the temperature of the beer in their local pub. They would take pictures of their pint on a phone they carried about with them. People laughed at that dream, but it is now reality.

That man was the father of beer bloggery, THE TAND.

Scottish actor, Gerard Butler, who would play THE TAND in the story of beer bloggery, when it becomes a film.

That vison is now a reality, for the gathering is upon us. Like in Highlander all beer communicators are drawn to a far off place. The Manchester Beer Festival, where THE TAND is usually to be found propping up the German lager bar whilst skiving. Unlike Highlander there is no requirement to sword fight and chop heads off. Instead you only need to prove you are a beer communicator by publically showing your sparkler and ask THE TAND to sign an autograph and take a selfie.

From Wednesday 20th, if you can blag in with a trade ticket by claiming that beer communicator is an actual job or an hour or two later if you can’t. Beer evangelists the world over will be congregating to follow THE TAND about and drink whatever it is he happens to be necking. And hearing words of beery wisdom like “What really do you lot want?”, “Can’t you go away and leave me alone, I’ve a festival to run” and “Right now, that’s it, will you all bugger off”

Temperatures of beer will be recorded in note books, some beer will be drunk and a relentless positivity will flow around the world of beer communication. Beer sexism will be abolished, Beer negativity will be abolished and in 2016 beer bloggery will be THE cultural phenomenon of the year.

This Wednesday, #TANDCON16. Don’t forget your sparkler.
A sparkler

2 comments:

Stonch Beer said...

I literally cannot wait

Scott Fajkus said...

I always look for such events and love to have beer :)
party bartenders la